Talor Gooch, Bryson DeChambeau follow Phil Mickelson’s whining

Since being accused of a “dick move” by Phil Mickelson is comparable to having the Pope commend one’s catechism scholarship, Mike Whan ought to take the stigmatic legend’s intended insult as a compliment, and file it as yet more evidence of how Mickelson never emerges best in USGA contests.

Mickelson attacked Whan in defense of Talor Gooch, who Mickelson felt was unfairly discriminated against by a change in exemption criteria that cost him an automatic spot in next month’s U.S. Open. Having now taken a stand in support of someone treated shabbily by tournament regulations, it can only be a matter of time before Mickelson steps forward to shield those who might find themselves at the business end of his employer’s bonesaw.

Gooch himself has a highly-developed sense of injustice, at least as it relates to Talor Gooch. Last week he bemoaned the Australian government deducting a hefty amount of tax from his $4 million winnings at the LIV Golf event in Adelaide, a predictable gripe from someone known to have a flexible interpretation of what he owes and to whom, and when such obligations ought to be settled.

On his disappearing U.S. Open exemption, Gooch claimed the criterion change impacting him was “retroactive.” The USGA publishes Open criteria annually, and with no specifications for 2023 having previously been announced, no change can be “retroactive,” as any dictionary definition will indicate (it’s right there after “retribution,” which is what Gooch imagines this to be).

The tossing of toys from the LIV crib is an almost daily occurrence now as the reality of their circumstances sets in.

Last week in Singapore, Bryson DeChambeau panned the world golf rankings as “obsolete,” while simultaneously demanding LIV be included in said obsolete system. LIV isn’t afforded ranking points because it is non-compliant in many areas, and has made clear it doesn’t intend to become compliant. Nevertheless, DeChambeau (and Mickelson) insist the ranking is broken because it grants points to tours, not based on the past accomplishments of individuals now competing in a closed circuit where they’re contractually protected from the consequences of poor play.

“It’s not right, and I hope people can see through that,” DeChambeau said. (For late arrivals, he’s protesting the denial of ranking points, not of human rights in his benefactor’s kingdom).