A recent social media post shared by golf content creator Hannah Holden captured an experience many women who play golf are familiar with. Holden, a +3 handicapper, was practicing her short putts using the classic two tee peg gate drill when she was interrupted by a man offering his advice.
Man: “Excuse me, you putted that well, do you mind me saying something?
Holden: “Uh huh”
Man: Do you speak English?
Holden: “Yeah”
The man proceeded to share his wisdom from a putting lesson he had many years ago, which was the transformational, groundbreaking advice, telling Holden to keep her head over the ball. He checks she understands this hugely complicated concept and instructs her to try it. Hannah continues her practice and holes the next putt. The man then proudly says, “There you are.” What a guy!
The reaction to the post was telling. Many women responded with recognition, “This happens to me too.” Others, largely men, questioned the video’s legitimacy. Was it staged? Why didn’t she say, “No thank you.” Was it exaggerated for likes?
With so much we see online being staged, these questions seem reasonable and neutral, but to me they reveal something deeper about the culture of golf and about how women’s experiences are routinely minimised, doubted or reframed to make them easier to dismiss.
At its core, this isn’t about one interaction, one video, or one social media post; it is about how women exist in golf spaces and what they are expected to tolerate in order to be there.
The Burden Of Politeness
Let’s start with one of the most common responses women hear when they say they don’t appreciate unsolicited advice: “Why didn’t she shut him down, say no thank you, I’m all good thanks.”
On the surface, that sounds straightforward. In reality, it misunderstands how women tend to navigate public and male-dominated spaces. Women are often taught to prioritise politeness, to avoid confrontation and to keep situations calm. This isn’t about weakness or lack of confidence, it’s about risk assessment.
When a woman is approached by a stranger, particularly in a setting where she may be alone or isolated, she has no reliable way of knowing how that person will react to rejection. For many women, a polite smile or deflection isn’t…
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