My birthday is February 21. I’m telling you that now so there are no excuses when it comes to sending me your best wishes on social media. May a plague of locusts infest the home of anybody who forgets.
Since the geniuses at Microsoft Office have so far failed to create an adequate sarcasm font, let me state very clearly and for that the record that I am, of course, joking. I’m not so precious as to get upset about stuff like that. I’m not Ian Poulter.
The Englishman celebrated his 47th birthday on Tuesday, a day after his fellow Ryder Cup hero and LIV colleague Sergio Garcia turned 43.
What do you get men who, seemingly, have everything? A tweet from Ryder Cup Europe, apparently.
It was on Tuesday that the aforementioned Twitter account shared a clip of Francesco Molinari from the 2018 Ryder Cup. The accompanying caption read: “Incredible touch.” It included an applause emoji but, again, the Microsoft boffins haven’t converted such characters into a font. (Seriously, lads, what do you do all day?)
Birthday boy Poulter – whose big day had been ignored by the account – took umbrage to that seemingly innocuous post.
“What’s really an ‘incredible touch’,” he replied, “is the Players that helped build the @RyderCupEurope Brand with other players as well. You just can’t bring yourself to say a simple Happy Birthday. @TheSergioGarcia B’day Yesterday. Unfortunately this says so much.”
Cue widespread (and, on the face of it, justified) derision.
Poulter’s tweet got “ratioed”, as people far younger and cooler than me would say. Whilst some spoke up in his defence, the vast majority seized the opportunity to ridicule and disparage him.
“You’re golf’s Prince Harry.”
You get the picture.